My Other Parents

I had someone come up to me recently who had seen my family Christmas videos. "You have such an interesting family dynamic!" they'd said. When asked to elaborate they explained that they thought my parents were divorced, and every Christmas they put their differences aside to celebrate the holidays as a family (with their new spouses). While that would be a lovely story of co-parenting, it's not true. Anna and Peter are my aunt and uncle, but they were more like a second set of parents as I grew up. Their house is just a few blocks away from my parents, and whenever mine would go out of town, I'd stay with them.

Sleepovers at the Dawson household were always things that Evelyn and I eagerly anticipated. We'd rent a movie or video game from Blockbuster, which in and of itself was exciting at the time, but then Anna would have a little snack buffet ready for us. Miss Vicky's salt and vinegar chips, fuzzy peaches, and chocolate chips; chocolate milk, fruit punch, and pop. We'd take our bowls and sippy cups down to the basement, get under mounds of blankets, and hang out by the TV. Ev and I had toothbrushes in the basement bathroom, and even though we slept on a pullout couch, we felt possessive of that space like it was our bedroom.

Chris is a year older than me and Dave is a year younger. We went to elementary and high school together, and even though we were related and forced to share holidays and events, we actively chose to hang out on our own. We floated in the same social circles, went to the same parties, had the same interests. When Chris and his friends got into D&D, when he started playing guitar, when he did karate, I decided to try it too. When the boys started listening to Blink 182, Perfect Circle, and Red Hot Chili Peppers, I ran over to HMV to buy those CDs. Dave and I affectionately called each other Debra and Albert (names that remain in circulation today), we both played rugby, shared halloween costumes one time (though it was a bit small on him). At my wedding, my bridal party consisted of two of my closest friends, my sister, and Dave (Debra, since he was a bridesmaid). On Nick's side, his groomsmen were two of his closest friends, a childhood friend, and Chris. There are few people who I love more than them, and I've considered them brothers for as long as I can remember.

So while we are not an example of co-parenting between former spouses, what we have is certainly special and unique, and it definitely is an interesting family dynamic!